So there’s a lot going on in my mind right now and I had to write it somewhere.
This past week has been crazy. It’s been hectic and stressful, both good and bad. Alot has been realised and accomplished, and I’m looking at some things a little differently. I wanted to share this…
This time last weekend things weren’t looking so good for the week. I’m not gonna say why, but after a somewhat upsetting weekend I had to get up at 5:30am for work monday morning to go do a job I didn’t really want to do. You know the feeling when your mind is constantly on one bad or worrying thing, mine was like that. I literally just walked around for 5 hours in a daze not really speaking to anyone, my mind just going over the same thing over and over again. It’s been doing that all week and I’m still no nearer to a conclusion.
So Monday night I had a show, with the band from Uni. For those 20 minutes on stage, I allowed my mind to be lost in the music and it worked. Everything bad that had happened disappeared and instead my head was filled with notes and melodies…and some loud drums haha.
Last night was show number 2, with band number 2. The first gig with the new band, Outrage. The show was at the Club Academy in Manchester. A memorial concert for a girl that the guys at the studio knew, named Anja, who unfortunately lost her life to cancer last year. There were 6 bands on, some I knew, a couple I didn’t, and all the proceeds went to the hospital. It was a sold out show with 500+ people there.
To me it was a huge show. It may sound cheesy but it was literally my chance to prove myself to the band and make the parents proud. Before going on stage nerves found me as they usually do, but then 20 seconds into the first song they disappeared as they normally do as well.
And as I did on Monday, I stopped thinking about this thing that has really been bothering me, and lost myself in the music and the atmosphere. Standing on stage and all you can see infront of you is rows and rows of heads, no gaps anywhere, is an overwhelming feeling. It’s scary….but it’s the best feeling in the world to me right now, and it’s the place where I most feel at home and feel like me. It’s the first time I felt like myself all week.
After realising this, Anja’s dad came onto the stage. He was nearly brought to tears by event, by the support and love everyone has given. His speech nearly reduced me to tears and this is what I also realised then; life is short. Unfortunately it’s a lot shorter for some than others. All week I’ve been worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, when really I should stop and just take things as they come. Doing what I love with the people I love is what is important now. I wouldn’t say what’s been on my mind is insignificant, no way, but I can’t do much more about it, so all I can do is hope it works out for the best, and take it as it comes.
So if you ever feel like this, like there’s too much going on and you’re worrying over things you have no control over like me, then instead of losing yourself in that way, maybe try losing yourself in something you love. Like music, art, sports, whatever it might be. It’s probably much healthier than worrying 🙂
I wanted to share this just because it seems a bit clearer when you write things down rather than just thinking about it.
So thanks for reading.
God Bless Anja and her family. I’m glad that we could all make the show an amazing one for her! xx